Blogging Blog Post

I thought having a blog was a really good idea, especially for our small class size.  They really helped to get to know each other better and were also a fun way to do the assignments.  I learned a lot about everybody and enjoyed reading their individual writing styles.  Having a blog made doing the assignments easier as well because you don't have to worry about printing anything out and you can do it on your own time. I also learned more about blogging which is becoming a lot more prominent and important in today's society.

Website Analysis

I looked at lds.org for my website to analyze.  I thought this was an effective website because it used the techniques we discussed in class to its advantage and was clear to follow.

Alignment: I really liked the alignment because it used left alignment and, like Natalie pointed out, didn't use very much center alignment. I like how what you see first is a very simple picture with the church's name at the top left and only a few tabs at the top.  The simplicity grabs your attention and draws your focus on the name and the picture.  Then, when you scroll down you find more information that is a little busier than your initial view.

Contrast: I thought the contrast was effectively created by the pictures that take up most of the space.  The first picture I saw was a lake next to a temple with a setting sun that contrasted nicely with the dark blue background.  When you scroll down the page you also see more pictures that have contrasting colors but that still go well together.  I also like how the words "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" are in white which makes it easy to read against the blue background.

Proximity: There are clear sections in the website that go together (such as "April 2012 General Conference", "Mormon.org", "Scriptures", etc.).  This makes these sections stand out more and are easier to focus on.

Repetition: There are only a few fonts that are used on the website which makes the whole thing easier to read and look at.  Also, the repetition of soft colors (dark blues, gray, tan, white) gives everything a sense of peace and comfort. All of these colors go nicely together so that you aren't jarred when you look at the website.

Composition: The church's logo isn't put right in the center.  It's in the top left, but your eye still naturally goes to it. Also, most of the pictures you see follow the rule of thirds and are more pleasing to look at.  The bottom section itself is divided into thirds and the whole thing feels comfortable to look at.

Websites

Effective
http://www.runnersworld.com
http://www.deseretnews.com
http://isitfridayyet.org
http://www.lds.org

Ineffective
http://theworldsworstwebsiteever.com/
http://www.coolrunning.com
http://wateronwheels.com
http://www.mrbottles.com

Solving the issues with my Issues Paper

The way I tried to solve my problem with using too many quotes was going back and really analyzing each one.  I tried to expound on the ideas that they were showing and tie it back to my thesis.   I don't know if I've completely solved the problem but I think it's better:)

With the solutions problem, it helped to think about who my audience is for this paper and see what would directly impact/help them.

I still haven't completely solved the procrastination problem though:) Any help or suggestions in regards to this would be great! Haha

Patchwriting and Issues Paper Struggles

Paraphrase: Many times people disregard myths and don't realize that they offer valuable insights into the study of history.

I think the hardest thing (well a couple hard things) for me with the issues paper was using my own ideas and not just filling the paper with quotes from the sources.  Another hard thing was coming up with a good solution to the problem I was addressing.  Oh, and the whole procrastination thing:) But I've resolved to be better at not doing that anymore! Sleep is a good thing I've realized.

Paper Proposal

My topic is (for now:) about sports vs. academics in America. I actually got interested in my topic after hearing the incredible forum address last Tuesday by Dr. Benjamin Carson, a very successful neuroscientist, professor, and author.  He said something that really stuck with me.  He said that America is more worried about sports than academics and that in a survey of the 22 leading countries of the world, America ranked second to last in academics.  He said something like "In the end, will it matter more if you can shoot 50 straight free-throws or solve a differential equation?"

I totally agree with his view and so my paper will address the consequences of America spending more energy and money into sports rather than academics.  I will take the stance that it is detrimental to our country and its standing in the world.  I will also look at online sports as well as normal athletic ones. My research questions will be:  How much has America spent on sports compared to academics?  How does this compare to other countries?  What is America's standing, academically in the world?  Why is it important to be academically strong/secure?

I haven't done a ton of research into this yet besides hearing the forum address and some basic information I've heard from different people.  I do know that professional athletes make an enormous amount of money while our teachers make barely enough to support a family on.  My mom is a 5th grade teacher so I've heard a lot about this:) I care about this because if we want America to keep its freedom and stay as strong as it has been in the past, we need to be able to compete academically with other leading countries.

20 Topics

1. negative impact of social media on academic performance

2. effects of a dirty apartment

3. sports vs. academics in society

4. running/exercise

5. dating (or lack of it:)

6. impact of how much sleep we get

7. diet/eating

8. negative impact of video games

9. age that people get married

10. pop music vs. classical music

11. whether money brings happiness or not

12. required religion classes at BYU

13. people trying to be "perfect" 

14. does America have an obligation to help other countries?

15. obesity in America

16. violence in movies/media 

17. going "green"

18. negative news in newspapers

19. family and society's view of it

20. crazy things people do

3 Things from Peer Review and Favorite Movies

1. Remember to be clear on how the author's rhetorical tools affect the specific audience
2. Don't switch awkwardly between 1st and 3rd person in some parts
3. Include audience reaction in concluding paragraph

Favorite Movies

• The Court Jester
• Sherlock Holmes (Both of them)
• Mulan
• What's Up Doc
• Emperor's New Groove 
• Princess Bride
• Pirates of the Caribbean
• Aladdin

Tarzan Loves Jane (J.R.R. Tolkien style)

My Dearest Jane,
I felt when I first met you some that though our lives are hopelessly separated by distance, language, custom, and habits of personal hygiene, I instantly felt a sort of connection to you, as though we could be the same species.  Then a feeling of love came over me of such extraordinary energy and passion that I knew I must attempt to convey these feelings in a letter to you.  There was much excitement in my village when I told my hominoidean friends of this task and everyone has urged me to continue in my quest. Unfortunately, I have not yet acquired a sufficient English vocabulary--beyond gruntingly repeating everything I hear--that would facilitate the writing of such a letter.  Luckily I have recently met a kind, elderly gentleman who possesses an extraordinary facility with the English language who has agreed to translate my feelings to you in such a way as would impress and delight you.  Please read the following poem I have written for you and know that the words are not adequate to express the feelings of love that I have for you.

Yours Forever,
Tarzan

No happiness I fear is found
Among these trees of green
Twixt flowing brook and twink'ling stars
I can't but shudder at the scene

I find no joy in climbing trees
The sun, it brings no light
I walk upon the mossy ground
And start to cry out at the sight

The world is gray, no birds sing out
And happiness is vain
For I have found I miss you so,
My love, my joy, my Jane

Some sweet similes

1. When she looked at him she got a funny feeling in her stomach, like when you eat the leftover beef stroganoff that's been in the fridge for a month.

2.  Trying to talk to her, he was as speechless as if he had just been asked how to spell "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis".  

3.  Their love for each other was as strong as a the odor from a garbage truck carrying 500 pounds of rotting Epoisses stuffed with curry and 10 years' worth of old gym shorts.

4.  When they held hands for the first time, it was as exciting as being thrown into a giant pit of hungry scorpions.

5.  When he asked her to marry him, she was as excited as she had been when she found a parking space at BYU.

3 Speeding Ticket Letters

Hey--
Guess what stinks??  I got my liscence revoked yesterday because I got pulled over.  Again!  I was only going 5 over but I still got the ticket.  Hey, even the police go 5 over all the time!   I think the officer was bored or something.  I was even on my way to my little sister's recital!  But anyway, because it was my fourth one I can't drive anymore until I go to court.  (Hopefully the judge will let me off.)  So, sorry but I won't be able to drive the carpool anymore until I get this fixed.  Let me know if you have any ideas of what I can do!
Thanks,
Caryn

Dear Mom,
How are things for you?  How's teaching going?  Guess what?  I got an A on my history test!  I was really happy about that because I failed the last one.  So school and work have been going pretty good overall this semester.  The only bad thing is I got pulled over for speeding yesterday. But I really don't think it's anything to worry about since I was only going 5 over the limit.  I'm pretty sure I'll be able to talk to the judge and get it off.  Well, I'll talk to you later and I'll see you for dinner on Sunday!
Love,
Caryn

Dear Judge Grant Mercy,
Yesterday I was pulled over for speeding on the road by Lone Peak High School.  I was on my way to volunteer at an elementary school and I guess I didn't realize in time that I was going 5 mph over the speed limit.  I know this is no excuse for speeding and that in every way I deserve a ticket, but I really would appreciate it if you would consider writing it off.  Because this is my fourth speeding ticket, my driver's license will be revoked, which will not allow me to keep my job or to continue my weekly volunteer hours.    I would love to be able to continue to do these things and serve as a law-abiding citizen of this town, so if you could possibly excuse my ticket, I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely yours,
Caryn Jackson

Found Poem

Fisher of Men

There is a Legend of a Man

Who lives beneath the Sea

He is a Fisher of Men

The Last Hope

Of all those

Who have been

Left behind

Many Survivors

Claim to have felt

His gripping hands

Beneath them

Pushing them

Up to the Surface

Whispering Strength until

Hope could arrive

But this

Of course

Is only a Legend

From “The Guardian” (2006)

Rhetorical Analysis (4-A)

I chose to do an analysis of 4-A, Is Google Making Us Stupid?  It was written by Nicholas Carr, who is a writer that has written several successful books about technology.  One of his books, The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, was a Pulitzer Prize nominee.  The many newspapers he has written for include the New York Times, the Atlantic, and the Wall Street Journal.  He graduated from Harvard.


Purpose: To convince his readers that the Internet is changing the way people think, read, and process information.  I also think he wrote it to shock his audience a little about the consequences the Internet can have on them so that they will be more cautious about the amount of time they spend online. 


Techniques: At the very beginning Carr uses pathos to make us feel like we are more connected to his argument and not just at an arbitrary level.  He also uses the unsettling scene of the computer to make us unsettled and/or uncomfortable.  This is so we will realize that what he is saying is important and that it needs to be changed.  I think the scene is also a form of foreshadowing into the seriousness of what he is going to talk about.


Carr uses imagery and metaphors at the end of the second paragraph on page 112 by comparing our mind to either a scuba diver or a jet skier.  This makes his argument more applicable and easier to understand for his readers.  


Another technique that Carr uses throughout the whole article is appeal ethos.  He frequently quotes professional writers or professors and prominent universities to show that he really knows what he's talking about.


Carr also uses personification frequently when talking about the Internet.  He simply calls it "the Net" and describes the things it can do, like "reprogramming us" and influencing our minds.  This makes the Internet seem like a bigger threat to his readers.  Something that could actually do them physical harm.


Result:  I think this article was very affective to Carr's audience.  I know it was for me.  But I do know at least that it was influential, because I read in Carr's biography that it has been collected in several famous anthologies regarding technology (nicholasgcarr.com).

Peer Editing

So I have mixed feelings about peer reviews.  I used to hate them in junior high and high school because everyone would just say "I loved your paper!" without giving any helpful ideas or tips.  I liked the way we did it in this class, where everyone had to write a number of comments on each page and then in class say something they liked about the paper and something they would change about it.

But despite the not-so-helpful comments you might get, it always helps to have someone read your paper before you turn it in!  They notice things that you don't.

5 Sentence Errors

1.  Old Sentence: "When can I do it?" "How do I fit my schedule around it?", etc...

So I'm still not entirely sure about this one, but I think that since I'm not actually quoting anyone that I shouldn't have the quotation marks around these questions that I'm asking myself.

New Sentence: When can I do it? How do I fit my schedule around it?, etc...


2.  Old Sentence: Another common effect of long bouts of time in the practice room is overuse injuries. 


With this sentence it isn't very clear if I should use "is" or "are" to relate to the effect (singular) or the overuse injuries (plural).  So I decided to just rewrite the whole sentence so I didn't have to worry about this.


New Sentence: Other common effects of long bouts of time in the practice room are overuse injuries.




3.  Old Sentence:  I am a first year music performance major at BYU and am quickly finding out how hard the 3-4 hours a day, 6 days a week, plus an additional 1-2 hours a week of orchestra practicing can be.  


I found out in "Writing Matters" that you're supposed to write out numbers that are less than 10 (1 versus one).


New Sentence:  I am a first year music performance major at BYU and am quickly finding out how hard the three to four hours a day, six days a week, plus an additional one to two hours a week of orchestra practicing can be.




4.  Old Sentence:  It’s common for musicians to get tendinitis or carpal tunnel if they practice for too long without breaks or stretching.   


I realized that this sentence doesn't follow the parallelism rule we learned about.  The tenses of the verbs don't match.


New Sentence:  It's common for musicians to get tendinitis or carpal tunnel if they practice for too long without taking breaks or stretching.




5.  Old Sentence:  While it’s important for music majors to spend a majority of their time on their major, if doing this causes them to get injured, then the injury becomes a much bigger problem for them than learning all of their music perfectly.


The problem here is the same kind of thing in number four.  The parallelism doesn't match between "the injury" and "learning all of their music perfectly."


New Sentence:  While it’s important for music majors to spend a majority of their time on their major, if doing this causes them to get injured, then the injury becomes a much bigger problem for them than the task of learning all of their music perfectly.