I chose to do an analysis of 4-A, Is Google Making Us Stupid? It was written by Nicholas Carr, who is a writer that has written several successful books about technology. One of his books, The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, was a Pulitzer Prize nominee. The many newspapers he has written for include the New York Times, the Atlantic, and the Wall Street Journal. He graduated from Harvard.
Purpose: To convince his readers that the Internet is changing the way people think, read, and process information. I also think he wrote it to shock his audience a little about the consequences the Internet can have on them so that they will be more cautious about the amount of time they spend online.
Techniques: At the very beginning Carr uses pathos to make us feel like we are more connected to his argument and not just at an arbitrary level. He also uses the unsettling scene of the computer to make us unsettled and/or uncomfortable. This is so we will realize that what he is saying is important and that it needs to be changed. I think the scene is also a form of foreshadowing into the seriousness of what he is going to talk about.
Carr uses imagery and metaphors at the end of the second paragraph on page 112 by comparing our mind to either a scuba diver or a jet skier. This makes his argument more applicable and easier to understand for his readers.
Another technique that Carr uses throughout the whole article is appeal ethos. He frequently quotes professional writers or professors and prominent universities to show that he really knows what he's talking about.
Carr also uses personification frequently when talking about the Internet. He simply calls it "the Net" and describes the things it can do, like "reprogramming us" and influencing our minds. This makes the Internet seem like a bigger threat to his readers. Something that could actually do them physical harm.
Result: I think this article was very affective to Carr's audience. I know it was for me. But I do know at least that it was influential, because I read in Carr's biography that it has been collected in several famous anthologies regarding technology (nicholasgcarr.com).
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Peer Editing
So I have mixed feelings about peer reviews. I used to hate them in junior high and high school because everyone would just say "I loved your paper!" without giving any helpful ideas or tips. I liked the way we did it in this class, where everyone had to write a number of comments on each page and then in class say something they liked about the paper and something they would change about it.
But despite the not-so-helpful comments you might get, it always helps to have someone read your paper before you turn it in! They notice things that you don't.
But despite the not-so-helpful comments you might get, it always helps to have someone read your paper before you turn it in! They notice things that you don't.
5 Sentence Errors
1. Old Sentence: "When can I do it?" "How do I fit my schedule around it?", etc...
So I'm still not entirely sure about this one, but I think that since I'm not actually quoting anyone that I shouldn't have the quotation marks around these questions that I'm asking myself.
New Sentence: When can I do it? How do I fit my schedule around it?, etc...
2. Old Sentence: Another common effect of long bouts of time in the practice room is overuse injuries.
With this sentence it isn't very clear if I should use "is" or "are" to relate to the effect (singular) or the overuse injuries (plural). So I decided to just rewrite the whole sentence so I didn't have to worry about this.
New Sentence: Other common effects of long bouts of time in the practice room are overuse injuries.
3. Old Sentence: I am a first year music performance major at BYU and am quickly finding out how hard the 3-4 hours a day, 6 days a week, plus an additional 1-2 hours a week of orchestra practicing can be.
I found out in "Writing Matters" that you're supposed to write out numbers that are less than 10 (1 versus one).
New Sentence: I am a first year music performance major at BYU and am quickly finding out how hard the three to four hours a day, six days a week, plus an additional one to two hours a week of orchestra practicing can be.
4. Old Sentence: It’s common for musicians to get tendinitis or carpal tunnel if they practice for too long without breaks or stretching.
I realized that this sentence doesn't follow the parallelism rule we learned about. The tenses of the verbs don't match.
New Sentence: It's common for musicians to get tendinitis or carpal tunnel if they practice for too long without taking breaks or stretching.
5. Old Sentence: While it’s important for music majors to spend a majority of their time on their major, if doing this causes them to get injured, then the injury becomes a much bigger problem for them than learning all of their music perfectly.
The problem here is the same kind of thing in number four. The parallelism doesn't match between "the injury" and "learning all of their music perfectly."
New Sentence: While it’s important for music majors to spend a majority of their time on their major, if doing this causes them to get injured, then the injury becomes a much bigger problem for them than the task of learning all of their music perfectly.
So I'm still not entirely sure about this one, but I think that since I'm not actually quoting anyone that I shouldn't have the quotation marks around these questions that I'm asking myself.
New Sentence: When can I do it? How do I fit my schedule around it?, etc...
2. Old Sentence: Another common effect of long bouts of time in the practice room is overuse injuries.
With this sentence it isn't very clear if I should use "is" or "are" to relate to the effect (singular) or the overuse injuries (plural). So I decided to just rewrite the whole sentence so I didn't have to worry about this.
New Sentence: Other common effects of long bouts of time in the practice room are overuse injuries.
3. Old Sentence: I am a first year music performance major at BYU and am quickly finding out how hard the 3-4 hours a day, 6 days a week, plus an additional 1-2 hours a week of orchestra practicing can be.
I found out in "Writing Matters" that you're supposed to write out numbers that are less than 10 (1 versus one).
New Sentence: I am a first year music performance major at BYU and am quickly finding out how hard the three to four hours a day, six days a week, plus an additional one to two hours a week of orchestra practicing can be.
4. Old Sentence: It’s common for musicians to get tendinitis or carpal tunnel if they practice for too long without breaks or stretching.
I realized that this sentence doesn't follow the parallelism rule we learned about. The tenses of the verbs don't match.
New Sentence: It's common for musicians to get tendinitis or carpal tunnel if they practice for too long without taking breaks or stretching.
5. Old Sentence: While it’s important for music majors to spend a majority of their time on their major, if doing this causes them to get injured, then the injury becomes a much bigger problem for them than learning all of their music perfectly.
The problem here is the same kind of thing in number four. The parallelism doesn't match between "the injury" and "learning all of their music perfectly."
New Sentence: While it’s important for music majors to spend a majority of their time on their major, if doing this causes them to get injured, then the injury becomes a much bigger problem for them than the task of learning all of their music perfectly.
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